I love the freedom I have
I can wake up anytime I want
I can eat whatever I want
I so love it!
Then comes that one person
Telling me I need to brace up
Trade my freedom for a partner
Share my space and my heart
Create a new family
Love them more than life…..
Though I could imagine this
happening
But still I wonder……………
Is marriage really a must?
There
are so many single men and women who ask this question. After talking to them,
one thing becomes apparent—their question was borne out of their past
experiences.
To
every single person who is fed up of going into relationships (not because they
enjoy being alone but) because they’re tired of trying, I’ve got one answer for
you: “Yes it is!”
Marriage
is a must for every matured single except in cases that has to do with
religious or secular beliefs (as mentioned in the 1st chapter). You
need to cling to hope. Everyone is
entitled to find a significant “other” that fills their lives with
companionship, romance, support and love. This is why I am emphasizing
this—yes, marriage is a must!
I
remember a single Muslim sister I met few years ago. She was 34 years old and
had been single since she was 30. According to her (although you could even see
it all over her) she grew up in the UK and US. I learnt from her that all the
few single men that came a bit close to her were not interested in her because
they felt that she’s too westernized for them and most of those who are in her
age group were already married. Of course she wears a scarf every time she’s in
public but after speaking with her I noticed she’s also social in an acceptable
way and very jovial.
On
the outside she lives her life like she’s independent and does not care about
marriage but she opened up to me that she still has that strong hope that one
day she’ll meet a good single Muslim guy that would love her the way she is and
ask for her hand in marriage.
So
also we have single Christian sisters who have been devoted in service to God.
Most brothers in their churches either feel they are too spiritual or they are
not social enough and therefore prefer to go in search of a lady to get married
to outside the church. In a situation like this, the lady may eventually
realize she’s not getting younger and therefore begin to question the necessity
of the institution called marriage.
Marriage
should not be questioned. It is a very important aspect of everyone’s life.
Biblically, the reason why marriage
is important is because it is for
companionship, procreation of children, mutual societal helps and comfort
that one ought to have for the other, both in prosperity and adversity.
Marriage was ordained as a remedy against sin and to avoid fornication. This is
why most pastors or counselors advice matured singles to get married and avoid
indecent sex, involvement in immoralities and to prevent jumping from one bed
to the other.
There are so many singles who
believe marriage is just as insecure as relationships. They do not want to be
tied down by a piece of paper because they’ve been cheated in past
relationships.
You need to know that marriage is
not about two people. It involves the two families, lineage, history, culture
and ethnicities. Your union is the connector that brings these elements
together. Marriage is also based on religion whether you are a religious person
or not, its laws are governed by religion in one way or the other.
Marriage is also important because
whether you like it or not, it actually gives you security. It is to hold men
accountable for a wife. I’m not saying marriage licenses are romantic but they
are meant to hold people accountable for one spouse and any children conceived
of that union.
Marriage gives you a title better
than a live-in girlfriend, baby mama or baby daddy. It gives you a name to be
respected in public and society at large. Some people are running away from
marriage because of the rate at which divorce is rising. Know today that
marriage is not the cause of divorce.
What
most people are ignorant of is that 9 out of 10 couples who cohabitate before
getting married are at a higher risk of divorce, therefore,
I also do not encourage living with that man before you’re married to him. As
singles don’t say because you are already a live-in girlfriend/boyfriend,
marriage is no more important. That does not guarantee your security. It also
does not stop you from getting heartbroken.
Matured singles should keep their
hope alive and focus their eyes on the goal which is to eventually get married.
I wish you all the grace you need....
Cheers,
Bukola Oyetunji
Culled from 'Stranded' with a Status by Bukola Oyetunji
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