k.
You are clinging on to lost hope – You believe
that partner will come back someday so instead of giving someone else a chance,
you shut your heart totally. Waiting for someone who left you is like putting
water in a basket because it won’t hold. If they want you and want to spend the
rest of their life with you in the first place, they wouldn’t have left you.
l.
You find it difficult to trust people – Having
trust issues is one of the reasons why single people don’t want to commit. You
have to know that everybody is not the same. Just like they say; “To every
rule, there is an exemption’. There are still trust-worthy people out there;
you just need to be a good person too to find one.
m.
You are not cultured – You don’t know the right
way to approach issues or you don’t have the knowledge of how to handle things
in a mature and refined way. Prospective partners out there may notice this and
take to their heels.
n.
You are too self-centered – If you are someone
that thinks of pleasing others regularly, others will do the same for you.
Nobody wants to settle down with a person that is all about themselves.
Self-centered people hardly make good homes. If this is the reason why you
think you are still single, kindly work on it and make amends.
o.
You are too desperate for marriage – I keep
telling single people that if you have a sign hung round your neck saying you
are single and desperately searching, people will avoid you like a plague. Be
as subtle as possible in your search for a life partner. It is wrong of you to believe you can only be
happy when there’s a steady relationship going on for you… Don’t act like it is
a do or die affair. If you can take out desperation from your attitude, you are
bound to settle down as soon as possible.
p.
You allow pressures from people around you get
through to you – It is true pressure comes from almost every angle. Your
parents, friends, colleagues, church members, neighbours (even enemies) mount
pressure on you. Some do this to spite you while others do this because they
want you to be happy. The best thing to do in such a situation is to ask
whoever mounts pressure on you to pray for you. Don’t let it push you into the
wrong arms. This is the mistake most singles make. They allow the pressure
around them get through to them so they keep making the same mistakes over and
over again. Tell yourself today that it is your life, God has His plans for you
and no pressure from any angle will stop those plans and promises from coming
to pass.
q.
You are looking for a partner in the wrong
places – Now, you need to stop doing this. Treasures are hidden in dark places,
they are not gotten easily. If you keep looking for a person to spend the rest
of your life with in all the wrong places, you may remain single for a long
time. The best place to look for a partner is with God and you can only do that
when you go on your knees. Tell it all to Him in prayers. No matter the type of
religion you practice, talk to God; pour out your heart desires to Him. Let go
and let GOD…… He will give you the best spouse you deserve.
Recommendations
For Men
Don’t capitalize on looks and if you’ve been doing that,
this is the time you have to stop it! Only shallow and insincere men will
commit to a woman based solely on her looks. Stop seeing women as a problem to
solve or a puzzle that needs working out. Women are wonderful creatures that
you can understand only when you give them a chance to express themselves.
Another thing you need to know is that you have to stop being egocentric. Women
love spending their life with a man who sees them as a partner, someone who can
give them a say without thinking they are taking his position as the head. Be
willing to share your space with a woman. Do you know how to pamper a woman? If
you don’t it is important you learn it today. If you love a woman, be
expressive enough to tell her or show it. Also, if you are the insensitive
type, it will be difficult for you to get a woman to stay with you. Learn how
to give compliments as often as possible to the woman you love. Erase the
common mindset that every woman out there is after your money. Of course we
have women like that, but there are so many good ones out there that will love
you for you. Another thing that most men do that stops them from settling down
in marriage is that they believe in sleeping with a woman before marriage with
the excuse that you need to know if you are both sexually compatible…. I wonder
where that idea is from? If you want a woman there’s no harm in waiting till
she is ready before you become sexually active with her. Waiting till the
wedding night shows you are a responsible man and a good woman will respect you
for that.
The first thing you have to do is to be happy with yourself
and where you are right now. Most importantly, you have to let God choose for
you, not forgetting that your parents are your little gods and their consent is
highly important too. As a single person craving for marriage, it is important
for you not to lose hope, please don’t give up on love. Try to be as positive
as possible. Know that you are not alone; there are so many young men and women
out there in the same shoes as you. Lastly, move closer to God. He has in stock
all you need to be happy.
For Women
As a woman, it is of utmost importance for you to know that
your looks only attract a man but doesn’t keep him. You must develop a positive
self-image because men are attracted by this. You also need to stop making the
error of not wanting the people who want you. Stop running after the people who
don’t want you in return. Now I need to ask you if you have not given up already.
That you are up to your forties or not does not mean it has become too late for
you to find your soul-mate, keep your hope alive. Stop running from a man
because he was ‘too nice’ or ‘safe’ or ‘boring’. Appreciate the man who
appreciates you. The best you can do is to also be the best partner you can be.
Learn to be a virtuous woman (Proverbs 31: 10-end). It is important for you to
allow that man run after you, it is his job! Build a good carriage for
yourself. Don’t be sluggish. Be smart, be organized, be presentable and be neat.
Keep your fingernails clean, change your hairdo regularly, and use body spray
or cologne appropriately. A good man wants a woman he can flaunt to his
friends, colleagues or family members….. Make yourself one. Lest I forget,
develop a positive mindset. Negativity does more harm than good. The men out
there want a woman that can encourage them and have faith in them even when
they do not. Learn to be your man’s support system. In doing this, believe in
yourself too, never be insecure. Be a cheerful giver and be ready to make some
sacrifices for your relationship or eventual marriage. If you can do all these,
I see you walking down the aisle pretty soon.
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