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Wednesday, 29 January 2014

MOTIVATIONAL: Is Marriage Really A “Must”?

I love the freedom I have
I can wake up anytime I want
I can eat whatever I want
I so love it!
Then comes that one person
Telling me I need to brace up
Trade my freedom for a partner
Share my space and my heart
Create a new family
Love them more than life…..
Though I could imagine this happening
But still I wonder……………
Is marriage really a must?

There are so many single men and women who ask this question. After talking to them, one thing becomes apparent—their question was borne out of their past experiences.
 
To every single person who is fed up of going into relationships (not because they enjoy being alone but) because they’re tired of trying, I’ve got one answer for you: “Yes it is!”
 
Marriage is a must for every matured single except in cases that has to do with religious or secular beliefs. You need to cling to hope. Everyone is entitled to find a significant “other” that fills their lives with companionship, romance, support and love. This is why I am emphasizing this—yes, marriage is a must!
 
I remember a single Muslim sister I met few years ago. She was 34 years old and had been single since she was 30. According to her (although you could even see it all over her) she grew up in the UK and US. I learnt from her that all the few single men that came a bit close to her were not interested in her because they felt that she’s too westernized for them and most of those who are in her age group were already married. Of course she wears a scarf every time she’s in public but after speaking with her, I noticed she’s also social in an acceptable way and very jovial.
 
On the outside she lives her life like she’s independent and does not care about marriage but she opened up to me that she still has that strong hope that one day she’ll meet a good single Muslim guy that would love her the way she is and ask for her hand in marriage.
 
So also we have single Christian sisters who have been devoted in service to God. Most brothers in their churches either feel they are too spiritual or they are not social enough and therefore prefer to go in search of a lady to get married to outside the church.

 In a situation like this, the lady may eventually realize she’s not getting younger and therefore begin to question the necessity of the institution called marriage.
 
Marriage should not be questioned. It is a very important aspect of everyone’s life.
 
Biblically, the reason why marriage is important is because it is for companionship, procreation of children, mutual societal helps and comfort that one ought to have for the other, both in prosperity and adversity. Marriage was ordained as a remedy against sin and to avoid fornication. This is why most pastors or counselors advice matured singles to get married and avoid indecent sex, involvement in immoralities and to prevent jumping from one bed to the other.
 
There are so many singles who believe marriage is just as insecure as relationships. They do not want to be tied down by a piece of paper because they’ve been cheated in past relationships.
 
You need to know that marriage is not about two people. It involves the two families, lineage, history, culture and ethnicities. Your union is the connector that brings these elements together. Marriage is also based on religion whether you are a religious person or not, its laws are governed by religion in one way or the other.
 
Marriage is also important because whether you like it or not, it actually gives you security. It is to hold husbands accountable for a wife. I’m not saying marriage licenses are romantic but they are meant to hold people accountable for one spouse and any children conceived of that union.
 
Marriage gives you a title better than a live-in girlfriend, baby mama or baby daddy. It gives you a name to be respected in public and society at large. Some people are running away from marriage because of the rate at which divorce is rising. Know today that marriage is not the cause of divorce.
 
What most people are ignorant of is that 9 out of 10 couples who cohabitate before getting married are at a higher risk of divorce, therefore, I also do not encourage living with that man before you’re married to him.
 
As singles don’t say because you are already a live-in girlfriend/boyfriend, marriage is no more important. That does not guarantee your security. It also does not stop you from getting heartbroken.
Matured singles should keep their hope alive and focus their eyes on the goal which is to eventually get married.
 
 
Wish you luck in your relationships…….. Pray the good one eventually leads to marriage!
 
 
 
Cheers,
Bukola Oyetunji
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Culled from: “Stranded” with a Status by Bukola Oyetunji
To get a copy, call 07012974472

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