Tuesday, 23 September 2014
Dear BOB Readers: Help, my Mother in law wants to ruin my marriage!
From a male BOB reader:
I met my wife in 2006, we dated for 2 years then got married August 2008. All through our courting period, I spoke to her mother on the phone because she was then in Austria. Didn't meet her until a week to our wedding when she specifically told us she was only coming home to attend the wedding with the plan of returning afterwards.We had a beautiful wedding ceremony, I was overjoyed because I absolutely was in love with my wife.
One thing led to the other and my mother in law decided to stay in Lagos with us about 2 weeks after the wedding (immediately we came back from our honeymoon) so it was like we started our marriage with her. The following month, my wife became pregnant and as it usually is with pregnancy, she couldn't do much around the house anymore. She suggested we get a house maid because we are both the busy type but on hearing of this, my mother in law stood against it saying she does not want any girl to come and ruin her daughter's marriage. I was surprised because I thought she was more exposed than that. That was the first time I regretted having her with us. Our usually clean house became a regular mess because though she stayed with us, she never lent a hand in getting things done at all.
We accepted our fate and moved on with things then my wife lost her pregnancy after three months, that was around Christmas period, 2008. This made my mother in law worse than ever. She blamed me for stressing her daughter, saying she wasn't supposed to work anymore so as to have enough time to rest. My wife loved her job very much and wouldn't want to quit because of pregnancy, but her mother didn't want to understand at all. By January 2009, I had to beg my wife to quit her job so that she could be relaxed enough to get pregnant again ( in line with her mother's final and 'unquestionable' suggestion).
After this, we tried severally but my wife couldn't get pregnant again. My mother in law then became a monster. She blamed me for this saying my chain of girlfriends were stopping my wife from getting pregnant (by the way i don't have any). She prooflessly said I hated her daughter and intentionally didnt want to impregnate her. She turned my sweet wife against me. Worst of all, they started bringing concoctions home for me to drink saying the devil has diluted my sperm and that without taking the concoctions, I would never be able to father a child. It was a shock to me because these people are Christians (my mother in law is even a Deaconess in her church) and I never thought in my wildest dreams that they could be this diabolical.
Things went on like this till last year when I finally told my father. A meeting was called between both families and a conclusion was reached that my mother in law should go back to her house. To my surprise, my wife emphatically told us all that if her mother leaves, she would follow. I was devastated. I couldn't stand living without my wife so I let sleeping dogs lie. I had to allow both of them to stay.
Why I am writing this is because now my wife does not care about me anymore. She goes out to come back anytime she wants. I set up a business for her early 2013, it is thriving very well and has made my wife financially independent to do whatever she wants without waiting for a dime from me. This is what she and her mother leverage upon. I see different cars coming to drop her late at night and every time I try to question her about who they are, her mother stands in our middle and answers all my questions like she was the one I married. She calls me impotent and several other bad names claiming her daughter has to become pregnant whether I like it or not. Once in a while, I feel like poisoning the old woman so that I can just have peace in my home again. This isn't the way I started with my wife and I know if this old woman is out of our marriage we'd be happy again.
Please help me readers before my mother in law ruins my marriage!