Sunday, 8 March 2015

Would You Go On a Blind Date?

A blind date is usually between two people of the opposite sex. Often times it is arranged by a mutual acquaintance of both participants, whether that person be a friend of both persons or a family member of one.

For it to be a blind date, the two persons who take part in it have never met or seen each other prior to the date (except maybe through pictures). It is therefore the responsibility of the person who arranges the date to ensure that they are a good match. It is possible for one of the participants of a blind date to be more interested in the match than the other. This puts more responsibility on the shoulders of the person arranging the date to ensure or try his/her best to make the date as successful as it can be.

Blind dates are usually not long. It normally should not take more than one or two hours since it’s actually meant to introduce the two people for the first time. Also this is so because the two people are not yet familiar with each other and are in the beginning stages of a possible relationship. It is often a sort of adventure because they both do not know what to expect or whether they would connect or not. The location of the date also matters a lot because blind dates are usually in public/open places like a restaurant, cinema, park, club etc.

With the advent of online dating sites, blind dating has gradually become a thing of the past. People seldom set their friends up on a blind date these days firstly because there is too much risk involved but mostly because there are too many other ways through which young singles can meet new people or get a date.

The most common way today is to sign up for an online dating service. These online dating services have taken up what was usually done by friends, family or colleagues. Online dating services ask you the necessary questions in form of a survey and helps build up a profile that may be very attractive to someone in search of a dating partner like you. Theoretically, this is the newest generation of blind dating.

In recent years, online dating has seen much success as people are meeting each other and are also getting married through the service.

Having a successful blind date whether through online means or matchmaking needs a lot of preparation before the encounter. You need to get as much information about the person as you can. You can look closely at online profile of the person you are about to meet or ask that mutual friend who arranged the date the necessary and very helpful questions about your blind date. Gathering as much information as you can gives you the idea of the other person’s area(s) of interest and likely things to talk about when you eventually meet. Another thing you need to prepare for is the location for the date.

I personally think it’s best both participants of a blind date agree on meeting in a public place and that someone close to each of them knows where and when the date is supposed to take place for safety reasons. I would also advise a plan B which may help as an escape plan in case the blind date does not work out. That may be a night out with a colleague or friend who you can easily reach should you decide to cancel your date (if it’s not going well as planned) or a friend you can have call you at a planned time  so you can have a reasonable and believable excuse as to why the date has to end.

Another important way of preparing for the blind date is deciding how you will look for it. It is mandatory for you to dress appropriately for the occasion so that he/she can see the best version of you at the first glance. Dressing appropriately would also make you comfortable and confident enough to enjoy the date therefore making a second date with that person more likely.

Also you have to prepare yourself psychologically by knowing that both parties in the blind dating experience can be nervous or inexperienced. It is therefore important to keep an open mind and give your date a fair chance to make a good impression, don’t be quick to judge!

It is also very important that you try as much as possible to be yourself and remain honest throughout the evening or date. If you start by telling lies or fake stories about yourself to your date you may be building a relationship on lies and that would not end well….. trust me! It is true that not all dates will end in a relationship or eventual marriage, so being honest about what or where you want the relationship to lead after the blind date is important to share.

I have people who have gone on blind dates and today are married, I see them as not  only lucky but fortunate. This doesn’t mean it happens like that for everyone. There are blind dates that have also gotten out of hands and people have lost their lives in the process. I prefer blind dates that involves matchmaking i.e., someone close to both parties linked them to each other.

If you are considering online dating, there are a few things that you should be aware of. Though there are tons of benefits to online dating that you may be well aware of. However, what most people do not realize is that there are many disadvantages that come along with online dating as well. The first is that the online profile of a person can be deceptive, thus when you go out on a date you expect to have the perfect match for you but you can be disappointed that the person is far away from what you consider perfect. There is nothing that says that the person must tell the total truth on these questionnaires and descriptions that they give about themselves online. Too many people are frequently just looking for the next person that they are going to go out with for a while or have sex with; they are actually not looking for a serious relationship. It may be heartbreaking to find that you meet someone that you like only to find that the person is simply out for a play.

Another disadvantage you need to realize about online dating is that one major component of a successful relationship is the chemistry that the two people must have with each other. With online dating however, you cannot know if the chemistry is present between you both because the online dating services will only dwell on how compatible you both are. If you eventually meet and the chemistry is not there, there is more than likely no chance that the relationship will blossom.

Singles that go online in search of a date also need to be aware that many people are not going to be as honest and caring as they claim to be when listing their profile on the website. Thus, the person needs to put adequate safety measures in place when first meeting these people. You need to bear this in mind knowing full well that this is a virtual stranger to you.

In recent pasts, we have heard of facebook love/dating which ended up being a disaster when both parties involved finally met…… no amount of emails can make you know that person. Scammers also use this medium to look for rich and lonely single ladies or men to dupe of their body or money, single persons really need to be careful.

Like I said, I prefer blind dates that are arranged by a close friend, relative or colleague of both participants because I feel that is safer.

After all is said and done…….. would you go on a blind date? *smile*
Bukola Oyetunji.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

yes i would provided itis well arranged.