A lady asked me for advice after reading my last post "If you have to beg someone to be in your life.........". I decided to post it here because I have had women who are in similar shoes with her, talk to me. So, in order to reach out to those facing similar difficulties in their relationships, this is her comment below..... My advice follows suit.
"My boyfriend is fond of threatening to leave me bcos he knows I'll beg him to stay no matter what. He especially does this weneva he wants to have sex with me. Out of fear of losing him I allow him anytime he threatens to leave me. But I don't know for how long I can keep on doing this. A friend of mine told me he's merely using me and that very soon he would get his fill and leave me. BO, I love this guy and I feel better begging him to stay with me than to even think of living a day without him. BO, Please advise me on what to do".
Dear BOB Reader,
I really need to be frank with you here and I hope you accept what I'm about to tell you.....
A man who loves you for real will not threaten to leave you every now and then just to get into your pants. This man does not worth you at all. He is not meant to be in your life. Look around you, how many girls do you see running after a man? If you see many then how has it always ended?.... badly right?
Now look around you again... how many relationships do you see that both parties are really into each other? Many also? Do those relationships end better? I'm sure you agree with me that they do.
For a relationship to work, you and your boyfriend must be ready to contribute your best quota. If he would threaten to leave you just to have you in his bed, my dear, he is not worth it at all.
End the relationship now before you get pregnant. Such a guy would definitely take to his heels if he discovers you mistakenly get pregnant. Are you willing to be a single mother? Even if he accepts the pregnancy, he cannot be a responsible father to the child because he does not love you. Permit me to say this Yoruba proverb " Obirin ti a ba fe l'omo e nwu ni". This means "It is the child of a woman we love that we cherish". If he does not love you, he cannot love your child!
Have you also considered the possibility of contracting sexually transmitted disease from this guy? If he would sleep with you even without having feelings for you, it is very obvious he can do that with other girls too. I am very unhappy with the situation you put yourself. The guy is simply catching his fun with you because you allowed him.
The best advice i have for you based on this situation you are is that you grow up. Love yourself. Be mature enough to cut him off and out of your life. Let him know you are tired of being used as a 'sex toy'. Let him know you are worth a lot more than that, 'For your price is far above rubies'. If you let him go, someone who would adore you & worshp the ground you walk on would come by! All you need do is let this guy go, stop underrating yourself please.
You got to take this decision now...... It's something you would be grateful you did, trust me!
I wish you all the grace you need...
****Dear readers, please don't forget to drop your advice too...... Thanks in advance!