Friday, 18 March 2016

Money gives happiness in marriage.... True or false?

I had a chat with an old friend some time ago and couldn’t help but make up my mind to write an article on the issue we discussed…………

John is a single matured guy who is in search of a very good lady to settle down with but he made me understand that one can rarely find one out there. I instantly disagreed with him pointing out that there are enough good ones who are also in search of a good guy. As we continued in the chat, I could understand that he had big issues with ladies because he thinks they are all after money, I was surprised at this. I asked myself why he thought that way. I tried to change his mind set by making him understand that to get a lady he would eventually get married to, he has to open his mind as regards issues like this. I asked him the question I’m asking my dear readers today; ‘Does money really nurture love?’

In my own personal opinion I believe in every relationship, love has to come first. There must be an unconditional love between both parties; that does not have anything to do with whether the guy/lady is wealthy or not. It is a natural and unplanned thing that just happens without the consent of the parties or persons involved. You don’t plan to fall in love… you just realize you are in love. When two people are in love they do not have to spell it out to people around them, the way they relate with each other, look at each other and long for each other is glaring enough for everyone close to them to know that they have been bitten by the love bug. Love is a beautiful thing when you are in it with the right person.

During my conversation with John, he categorically stated that money is nothing and that love is everything. He explained that every lady out there should not care whether the man she intends to go out with is wealthy, averagely rich or comfortable, his emphasis was on love. I couldn’t agree with this! The question I then asked him was ‘If your sister brings a jobless man home to you and tells you she’s in love with him and wants to marry him would you agree?’ To my surprise, he told me out rightly that he wouldn’t! So what are we saying? If you wouldn’t allow your sister to marry a man like that why then are you looking for a lady who would get married to a man even if he is jobless or broke? Money definitely has a role to play in Relationships/Marriages.

Of a truth, true love should be the basis for a relationship but in order to keep that relationship running smoothly; a man should be ready to spend some money for his woman even when she does not demand for it. If she has needs that are obvious to the man, he should be able to meet them without the lady asking. It’s still part of love to care that is why they say love is caring. I’ve met some men who take offence and break up relationships just because they believe the ladies were too demanding (Of course some ladies can be irritatingly over-demanding and materialistic); they then start searching for a woman who doesn’t have needs. Tell me, is there any? Nope! If there’s no lady without needs, then guys should know that money is part of love.

Love is a basis for a relationship or marriage and should always be, but in order to sustain the relationship, LET’S BE REALISTIC, money is also important. Love without money won’t give a peaceful and problem-free relationship.

Now to the ladies, please note that…. Guys do not like liabilities. You have to be up and doing. Make sure that the guy is only helping out with some of your needs and that he’s not the one footing all your bills. Also, you must be able to care for him- if not as well as he does financially- you should be able to do something for him, after all; he’s human and he has needs too! *winks*

What I want you dear readers to note here is that, there can actually be love without money but in order to sustain that love and make it grow, there must be money involved in one way or the other.

The guy especially has to be ready to spend money for the woman, treat her right, take her out, give her surprise gifts, take care of her and be very transparent with her. This helps in making the love which is expected to exist between them both, blossom.

My conclusion therefore is……….. there can be love without money but in order to sustain that love, MONEY plays a major role.

I’m very sure some of my readers have different opinions. I would love to hear them all. Please feel free to post your comments.

Love you all.

Bukola Oyetunji


mmaduka Divinelove said...

Just like every engine needs oil to function, money makes love functional!!! Don't quote me wrong, no love in this day an age will survive in an empty stomach...

Bukola Oyetunji said...

Thanks Divinelove. :)

Anonymous said...

Now, i agree with you that money is important in a relationship just as it is important in everyday life. what happens when u are going out with someone who doesnt ask you for anything but when you take the initiative to give her on your own, she gives it this cold reception that makes you regret ever giving. Now even when you try to create opportunities to treat her right, she gives such chance a second seat. what do you do with such a person?