Tuesday, 28 October 2014

10 Ways To Ensure Your Spouse Does Not Cheat On You...

So many marriages are hitting the rocks these days because it has gradually become difficult for spouses to stay faithful and committed to each other.

We get too comfortable with each other, forgetting that marriage needs all the efforts we can put into it. Over the years, we tend to forget what we did initially that made our spouse fall madly in love, to the extent of deciding to spend the rest of their life with us. All these things we overlook, directly or indirectly give way for another man or woman to creep into our marriage thereby taking away from us, our love and happiness.

The good news however is that there are measures we can apply in order to ensure our spouse does not cheat on us. These measures are not easy but they are actually worth it. Marriage itself is not easy but having the love of your life all to yourself is worth all the effort you put into it.

Here are 10 ways to ensure your spouse does not cheat on you...... 

·         Make your Marriage your number 1 Priority
Successful marriages don’t just happen. You have to be willing to put in the effort. This is especially true as couples get busier with careers, kids, or community/religious activities. Those things are important, but if you want a strong marriage, your wife or husband must come first.
·         Keep Dating Your Spouse
 I’ve written about this before, but it deserves repeating. Establish a weekly or at least monthly “Date night” with your spouse and treat this time as sacred. Your dates don’t have to be fancy, but you do need to work to keep them fresh. A recent study showed that injecting novelty into your dates can bring back the butterflies you experienced when you were first courting. So visit a new restaurant, try a new hobby, or take a class together (a dance class maybe).

·         Stop Watching Pornography Tapes
Bringing porn into your marriage is not healthy. It’s like bringing another woman/man into your marriage, except he/she’s glossy and airbrushed. Porn will only create an unrealistic expectation in your mind about your spouse’s libido, body, and comfort level with weird sex positions. Pretty soon you’ll find that your spouse isn’t satisfying you and your eyes will start to wander. Do away with the porn!

·         Focus On Being Romantic
Any woman will tell you it doesn’t take much to be romantic. A romantic letter or email only takes a few minutes to write. Also on the part of the woman, little gifts like a shaving kit aren’t too much to get your spouse once in a while. These small gestures show your spouse that you’ve thought of them and help you reinforce your commitment.

·         Initiate Affection
Studies show that couples who are affectionate with each other stay together. Make an effort to initiate spontaneous affection with your spouse. Give him/her a hug or surprise kiss and tell them how much you love them. Hold hands with them when you’re out together. Also, don’t make your spouse cuddle-rape you. Invite cuddling with them without making it a precursor to sex. These small gestures will help strengthen the physical connection that every relationship needs.

·         Have Sex Regularly
Many men stray because they’ve gotten bored with their sex life with their wife. It’s pretty easy for your sex life to decline when you’re married. Things just get busy and by the end of the day, couples are just too tired for it. Make sex with your spouse a priority. It doesn’t have to involve serious stunts and edible underwear. Just do it. Frequent sexual encounters with your spouse will strengthen your emotional and physical attraction to them.
·         Spend Time Just Talking
Find some time each day to have meaningful conversations with your spouse. If you have children, do it after you put them in bed. Talk about what you did during the day. Discuss what you’ve been thinking about lately. Share your dreams with them. The idea is to deepen the bond between both of you. It’s harder to cheat on your spouse when you’ve made such an emotional investment. Deposit into this investment by frequently engaging in meaningful conversations.

·         Share A Common Interest
A big reason men stray from their wives is that they begin to find less and less in common with them. When you first started dating, you probably had everything in common. Well, at least you thought you did. So you would spend lots of time together doing things you both enjoyed. Then you got married and started working and your wife either started working too or stayed home to take care of the kids. Pretty soon there begins to be much fewer areas in which your lives overlap.
Avoid this by maintaining a common interest or hobby with your spouse. Just find something that both of you can enjoy and participate in it together.
·         Have A Sense Of Honor And Duty
Remember that when you got married you made a sacred promise or vow that you would be faithful to your spouse. There was a time when a gentleman was judged on whether or not he was a man of his word. Sadly, people today don’t take those sorts of things seriously. Many people feel justified in breaking their promises when something stops being easy and pleasurable. Forget about the trend. Be a man/woman of your word. The honorable thing is to fulfill the duty to your spouse that you freely took upon yourself the day you got married. I know some will say, “You shouldn’t stay in a terrible marriage just to avoid breaking your vows.” Perhaps not, but you do have the duty to do everything you can to save that marriage before calling it quits. And I mean everything!

·         Establish Boundaries
Many men feel they are manly enough to handle any situation with a woman. For them, setting firm boundaries preaches weakness or unnecessary enthusiasm. But that is what every man thinks, right before they take it too far. It is far better to be safe than sorry. If people think you are archaic, so be it. If they think you are outdated going home to the love of your life each night with a head held high, fine!
In your quest to avoid temptation, it should be understood that there’s nothing wrong with having friendships with other men/women. In fact, it’s inevitable. You probably deal closely with other men/women at work. The key is to know where to draw the line and then to stay as far away from it as possible. This will require you to do some serious introspection and figure out what your boundaries are.

Note also that you committing your spouse into God's care as often as you can, can be a cover for them. Ask God to strengthen them to keep their vows to you, don't forget to pray same for yourself. Also, since God is the foundation of most marriages, remember to tell Him to uphold your home for you.... He will surely do that.

Wish you an affair-proof marriage!

Bukola Oyetunji.



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hmmnnnn, God save our marriages. Infidelity is now a normal thing