Dear BOB Readers - I can’t stop having sex with my employee!

 

Dear Bukola,

I run a very successful accounting firm in the northern part of the country. About 8 months ago a beautiful and sophisticated lady was employed and the moment I laid my eyes on her, I knew I had to date her. Right from the second week she joined us, I started an affair with her and just last month I rented a luxurious apartment for her. Sex with her is like heaven to me, I have never experienced such before, not even with my wife. Unfortunately, my wife got to hear about this and she has since tried everything in her power to end the relationship but I won’t have it. I can’t say I love this employee of mine but the sex is too good for me to let go of her. The only thing that pains me is that my wife doesn’t understand, instead she gets more unhappy every day. Do you think there is anything I can do?

Dear Boss,

Your mail is one of the most interesting ones I ever got because I had to read it over and over again in order to understand exactly what is going on with you. There are a lot of unanswered questions which I wish you had given so as to make me know where exactly you are coming from and what you are driving at. Notwithstanding, if you are a frequent reader of my  blog and column (Dear Bukola - published every Saturday in Saturday Mirror ) you would understand that in as much as I try to be objective, there are some situations I can’t help but be very frank and realistic… your case is one of such. Firstly, I personally respect men that know how to separate business from pleasure; it is obvious you are not one. Secondly, I have more regard for men who value their marriage and who can’t compromise their wife’s happiness for anything in the world, it is also obvious you are not that type of man. Thirdly, I respect a man who after hurting his wife would let go of everything, be remorseful and try to make amends but obviously you are also not this type of man. Hence, it goes without saying that you need to do some personal evaluations. Do you really think your wife would know of your extramarital affairs and be happy with you? There is no woman out there that can be happy when she knows her husband is spending his time and money on another woman so don’t expect your wife to be. It is obvious the sex you are getting from this employee has taken over your mind but you have to be careful so that it won’t lead you to an early grave. I don’t want to be judgmental but your mail makes it obvious you no longer care about anything but enjoying sexual escapades with this employee turned ‘mistress’ of yours so I wonder if anything I write here can have effect on you. An important thing I want you to know however is that it won’t last forever. If you cling to her like your life wire today, tomorrow she may get tired of you and discard you like a rag…. Take note of that! The sincere advice I have for you is to retrace your steps back to your wife, it doesn’t have to be about sex. She has been there for you and she will still be there for you provided you change your ways.... Ask God to forgive you so that your life after death would not be full of regrets. Lastly, think of what you want for your future…. Happiness and peace of mind is far greater than sex and believe me, it lasts longer than the few minutes of pleasure that sex has to give.

Cheers!

Bukola Oyetunji

Would you 'protect' your hubby by giving him condoms?

Hello BOB Readers, how is your weekend going?
A lady sent me a mail recently about how promiscuous her hubby was. She claimed to have contracted STD from him sometime ago and it wasn't a nice experience at all. Now her question is;  is it okay for her to put condoms in her husband's luggage anytime he wants to go on one of his trips?

She says he still has his sexual escapades so she thinks that is the only way she can be at peace when he's away.

What do you all think? Should she go ahead with her 'gesture' or you feel there are better approaches to the issue?

Looking forward to your responses.

Cheers,
Bukola Oyetunji.

Have You Made Your New Year Resolution?

Hello wonderful people, it's great to see 2016. Happy new year to you all.

In this new year, I implore everyone to make a new year resolution right from now that the year is still very fresh. By this I mean, make up your mind to let go of those habits and attitudes that slowed you down last year. Develop new habits that can contribute positively to you and your undertakings.

Also, evaluate the kind of people you surround yourself with. Are they those that can help you achieve your goals for 2016? A friend or family member that has nothing to offer you emotionally, morally, academically or even spiritually shouldn't take the front seat in your life this year.

Likewise, tend to be more prayerful. Spend more time in building a personal relationship with God. Look unto Him alone for all your needs. Do not depend on people to make you successful and happy this year. Have confidence in God cos He is the only one that can supply all your needs according to His riches in glory so, let your eyes stay glued to Him.

In the same vein, whatever you find doing in this year, please do with all your might. Stop complaining about your situation not being satisfactory enough. So many people out there wish they had what you have. Develop the spirit of contentment and appreciation. It will go a long way in giving you peace of mind and the good attitude you need in receiving better gifts from God, that will step up your situation as soon as possible.

Lastly, be your neighbour's keeper. Do unto others what you would have them do to you. Stop judging others because you do not know where they are coming from or what they have been through. If you are in the position to help anyone around you, please don't hesitate. There is so much pleasure in seeing other people happy because you assisted them in one way or the other. Develop the habit of doing this as often as possible. It will go a long way in ensuring you stay personally fulfilled and happy.

2016 has started on a good note for so many people so if you are still expecting something good to happen for you; keep calm, God is at work.

 

I wish you all a miraculously pleasant year.

 

Loads of love,
Bukola Oyetunji.

Relationship Tip of the Day: Without Trust..... There is no reason to continue!

The importance of communication in a relationship cannot be overemphasised because with it, partners stand a better chance at being together for as long as possible.
Communication also ensures their is mutual respect. Have you seen a relationship where there is no love? Such a relationship cannot stand the test of time. Reason is that love makes it easy for couples to respect each other. Love is what makes partners completely trust each other. If all these important factors are absent, there is no relationship. And where there is no relationship, there is no reason to continue.
Ponder on this!

Wish you all the best in your relationships!

Cheers,
Bukola.

Relationship Tip of The Day: STAND UP and be the man she needs....

Being in a relationship demands a lot of sacrifices from both parties, however, when a man fails to live up to his responsibilities, the success of such relationship becomes almost impossible.

Women need a man that can stand up and be the man they need. A man who is worthy of being called a man. Strong, dependable and with reliable shoulders to lean on. A woman needs a man that is sensitive enough to know when she needs him to speak words of encouragement to her or just keep quiet and listen while she pours out her feelings/emotions.

A man that can not live up to these expectations should sit down, so she can see the man behind him because he sure does not deserve her.

So, if you are a man out there and you want that woman to tie the knots with you, please STAND UP  and be the man she needs. Don't just live your life like it's yours alone. Do things in a way that makes it quite evident you care for her and that you want her in your life forever. She is your woman so she deserves all the best she can get from you. *wink*

Wish you luck in your relationships!

Cheers,
Bukola Oyetunji

Dear BOB Readers: My mother wants me to give her grandchildren but I'm not married!

Dear BOB Readers, I am a 34 year old single lady. I have a well-paying job and I am very comfortable financially. I have had past relationships that turned out to be disastrous so I decided to take things easy these last 2 years.

Relationship Tip of The Day: ....Your Children Are Also in the Line of Fire...

Today, I am focusing on women who are being abused in their relationships. This is because a lot of women are going through hell in their marriage because they have an emotionally/verbally abusive husband.

Tips on How to ask a girl out – For shy guys

Some men find it difficult to ask a woman out probably because they've had previous turndowns. If you are this kind of man, here are some tips that can help build your confidence within a twinkle of an eye... *wink*

Happy New Month BOB Readers....My message for you!

As you step into the month of August, remember that fear is what kills even before evil actually comes. Have the strength of God within you and know that no evil can come to your abode. Let the joy of the Lord be your strength because no matter what may be going on around you, it shall not come near you!

Also, love everyone with your heart and do everything the way you want people to remember you years after you are gone.

My prayer is that this month will bring to you the fulfillment of God's promises over all your endeavors.

Stay blessed and remember that I love you....

Cheers,
Bukola Oyetunji

Dear BOB Readers: My husband snores a lot, please what can I do?

From a female BOB reader:

Dear BO and BOB family, please I need your advice.

My husband disturbs me every night with his snoring to the extent that I usually don't get enough sleep. Every time I tell him of this he vehemently denies it telling me he can never snore.

Please what can I do? This issue is really disturbing me.

Happy New Month BOB Readers

 

Happy New Month Dear BOB Readers, may you experience great things this June.

May all your endeavours be crowned with success this month and always..

Have a memorable June!

With loads of love,
Bukola Oyetunji

BOB READERS: The man I love is about to get married to someone else!

From a female BOB reader:

Dear BOB readers, I've never been lucky with relationships until I met Ronald few years ago. I fell in love with him right from the first time I laid eyes on him, it was magical.